This is a blog that quite simply lists my insane responses to random emails. All replies to the original emails are under "comments" under each email.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

ASSISTANCE FOR CLAIM

MR. SANCHEZ MBEKI
CREDIT AND ACCOUNT DEPARTMENT
NORTH ATLANTIC SECURITIES
SARL LOME TOGO.PRIVATE
PHONE +228 908 43 46
PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS sanchezmbeki@zwallet.com

Dear Friend,

Compliments of the day,In brief,My name is Mr. Sanchez Mbeki.The managerCredit and Account Department of North Atlantic Securities Sarl Lome Togo..

I am writing in a respect of unclaimed deposit belonging to aforeigner,Late mr Arthur Smith of America with account # NAS/1001/44986-00/TG.Who perished on the plan crash of 31st october,1999 with egpytian airline990 with other passengers aboard.

Since the demise of Smith,I personally have watched with kin interestto see any next of kin or beneficiary to this deposit but no one hascome up for the claim of usd$14.5m(fourteen milion,five hundred thousand united states dollars)has being in our security vault for a verylong time.

On this note,i decided to seek for your noble assistance to help me comefor the release and transfer of this fund into any of your nominated bankaccount abroad,In the sense to make you the beneficiary to this unclaimeddeposit.As no one both friends and relatives has come up as the next ofkin to this deposit,our modus opprandum and our ethics here does not allowsuch deposit to stay more than five years,because after five years the moneywill be confiscated into the nations treasury as an unclaimed deposit.

In view of this,I got your contact in my country's trade journal afterwhich i was convinced to contact you and introduce this business toyou as a foreigner.The request of a foreigner as the next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the then customer was a foreigner and a togolaise can not stand as the next of kin to a foreigner..Ihave agreed to share this money with you in the mutual understanding of65%/35%.You keep 35% while i keep 65%, Thereafter i will visit your countryfor the mutual sharing between both of us.

Bear in mind also that i would like to invest my own part of the share inyour country,As i am almost due for retirement.For us to proceed towardsthis transaction,you have to send an application text to the security companyas the next of kin to their deceased customer.I will send to you a textof application which you shall re-type and send to the finance securitycompany Upon your response to this mail.

I will not fail to bring to your noticethat this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain anyfear as the whole required arrangment has been perfected for thesuccessfull claim and transfer of this fund. Don't forget to keep this transactiona top confidential untill we achieve our goal.

You may contact me as a matter of fact and urgency on my privatetelephone # 228 908 43 46 for more informations and clarifications.Hoping to hear a positive response from you.

Best regards,

Mr Sanchez Mbeki.m.c.a.d

7 Comments:

Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

Mr. Sanchez,

Compliments of the night. I find it encouraging that our neighbors to the south are expanding operations into Togo.

I knew Mr. Smith and when his plan crashed he was devastated. I know that I would be as well as his plans included traveling around the world in a plane non-stop, hosting his own reality show, and making the world's largest chocolate chip cookie.

I will gladly give you noble assistance as I was knighted recently in a ceremony in London. It was wonderful, but the caviar wasn't chilled to the proper temperature, causing it to stick in my teeth. It was terribly embarrassing to be grinning for the cameras and have your picture taken with the Queen and black dots in your teeth! I am sure you have been in that situation before!

In any case, I would love to have you visit as that is why I advertised your trade journals! I receive members of Togo all the time and we have wonderful time exploring the flora and fauna of Death Valley. In my spare time, I like to go fishing there since it is so cool and the water is the freshest on earth! I can't wait!

Please be sure that when you respond, the issue is hitch free as my car is small and cannot support hitches of any kind.

Peace,

Todd Lemieux

4:54 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

Dear Todd,

I appreciate your time and endeavours in replying me. I know that you are not the only one on earth, but it is just an coincendence that you will help me out on this transfer and have your 35% of the total fund for helping out on the transfer.

After I got all the information and done the underground work for the success of this transaction it downed on me that I needed a foreign partner to help me claim these funds.I needed Someone who will be very helpful even after the funds are transfered i
n managing the funds and later investment purposes.

Meanwhile let me go straight to explain more on the event that led to this before I expantiate on the project proper. The deceased customer, Mr. Arthur Smith a big customer of our company where I work . He operated a coded account with us and died on a a
ir crash.He had a wife who died alongside in the air crash.See the website or you can visit
www.greatdreams.com/PassEAir990.htm
you can see the list of the passengers on board.

The name of his company was Smith And brothers trading company but folded up after his demise. The above is quite a few of his bio-data but if you need some more specific information on him or clarification please go ahead and ask as I just cannot figure
out the precise information or details that you would want to know. You must understand that in this company,chances or opportunities like this are common but not heard.

People put their monies and premiums with the Security Company and some of these accounts are either coded or confidentially operated,therefore, when such people die what do you think that happens to these monies when nobody comes for their claims? Well,
this is one of the numerous avenues monies are made within and amongst the Security Company. I did not mastermind Mr.Smith's death and I did not operate or manage his account, if there was something that I could have done officially to have this money s
ent to his real relatives independent of the company management, believe me, I would have done it.

Normally, when something like this happens in the company, it is reported to the management. The Management can only wait for 5 years+ for a next of kin to show up without publishing it or making it public. Therefore,it is not published and the company o
nly waits for the real heir to show up as the availability of such funds are expected to be in the late "customers will" which would be the only source of knowledge of it by anybody who is entitled to such funds. So the company gives 5 years for this, an
d if no claimant comes forward then the Management sends the money to the Debt Re-conversion Department and the account is closed.

Now the question is, who runs the Debt Re-conversion department and who is the Management? The answer is simple. The Chairman, Managing Director and Board Members. These are individuals and these monies are shared by them and nobody asks questions period
In fact these issues are not even discussed outside board meetings.I have fully put everything in place and since this is an opportunity open to anybody. I can only tell you that it is just destiny that brought us together.

I am quite sure of what I am doing that is why I am committing all my savings in this project because I know what the catch is and it is worth it, my conscience is clear and I have no genuine reason to worry about the dead. The procedure of establishing
the next of kin would be taken care of by me since this has to be certified by my office, do not worry about this. I will explain how this payment is going to be processed and paid into your account in my next mail.

This project remains absolutely confidential as I am still in active service and only wish to retire after this transaction must have been consumated succesfully. Bear in mind that this transaction is 100% risk free as all underground works and network f
or the success of this transaction has been put in place.You only have to listen to my advices before taking any decision in relation to this transaction.

At the conclusion of this transaction you will earn 35% of the total sum for your assistance. This transaction is 100% legitimate and risk free and in essence that it will undergo normal security company procedures as stipulated in our allied and financi
al matters decree.

PLEASE GIVE ANSWERS TO THESE VITAL INFORMATION

1)..Your Marital Status?

2)..Your Age?.

3)..Your Occupation?

4)..Your sex?

5)..do you have a good account where this money will
be transfered into.

I will forwrd an application draft as soon as i hear from you so that you can officially apply to our company for the release of this fund on your name. I have taken you as a partner and will like us to work like brothers from one family to achieve our m
utual benefit. I await your call on my private line +228 908 4346 immediately you recieve this mail and reply as the urgency implies. The almighty God will forever bless you more abundantly.

My regards you and your entire family.

Your Brother and Partner,

Mr Sanchez Mbeki.

5:05 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

Brother Sanchez,

I know that this is underground work, I just hope that you are digging in the correct area so as not to have everything collapse on you. I know some good engineers and I hear that wood is a good bracing object.

To answer your questions

1. I am single
2. I am 40
3. I am a professional seal, whale, and parasite observer
4. I am a male
5. I have a very good account. It has only misbehaved twice.

I understand you would like to trust me as a family member, but as any member of my family will tell you, that might not be the best idea as I have fraternal twins in several locations who I do not speak to any more.

I look forward to hearing from you so I can get my money.

Todd

5:07 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

My dear brother Todd,

Please i need to know if you are having problems in sending your application draft to the company as i have instructed you. get back to me so as to know the next line of action to follow ok. Have a nice Easter Holidays.

Best regards,
Mr Sanchez Mbeki

5:11 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

My dear Brother Sanchez.

Let me express my complete joy at having found a brother! I had thought that I had one, but this news is so encouraging that it has made my Easter joy complete!

Let's play catch or do something brotherly!

I did not hear anything about the application that you are discussing. Please send it to me. I filled out a loan application and an application for college. I was denied for both due to my club foot and my fake elbow. Apparently this was before the current politically correct movements to incorporate more club-footed individuals in the academic institutions of America. You may have seen the documentary, "The Dead Poets' Society." The founder of the movement achieved success at the end when his students were able to overcome their club-footedness and stand on their desks while their fake-elbowed teacher tried to bring them down. I was moved to tears.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Todd Lemieux

5:54 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

My dear brother Todd,

I have sent the application to you before and am sending it again for you ok.

Below is the application draft, send it to our Director General's office email nasfc_telex@diplomats.com and get back to me as soon as it is done ok.

Best regards,
Mr Sanchez Mbeki



******************************************************************
PLEASE SEE THE SPECIMEN OF AN APPLICATION DRAFT BELOW AND FILL IT OUT AND SEND TO THE SECURITY COMPANY OK.
******************************************************************



CREDIT AND ACCOUNT DEPARTMENT
NORTH ATLANTIC SECURITIES SARL LOME TOGO.
321 AVENUES DES NIMES GRUNITZKY,
Telex: 7282 TD BP 265
LOME TOGO, WEST AFRICA
FAX; +228 221 8359

EMAIL; nasfc_telex@diplomats.com


ATTN; Mr SYMENOUH Kwasi
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR

Dear sir,

APPLICATION FOR CLAIM AND RELEASE OF $14.5M US DOLLARS

I humbly applies to this Security Company today as the next of kin to your deceased customer Mr.Arthur Smith.I humbly apply putting claim over his balance with this Security Company valued at usd$14.5m (fourteen million,five hundred thousand united stat
es dollars)has being in this security vault for a very long time in the Trunk Box as a family treasure with CONSIGNMENT NUMBER 14-255-2004/TSFC/TG.

I also wish my application will be given an urgent attention as I wish this Trunk Box be released and re-transfered into my nominated bank account. The above amount / money was deposited in your Security Company by my deceased cousin Mr.Arthur Smith,and
owned SMITH & BROTHERS TRADING COMPANY SARL in Lome Republic of Togo.

I am his cousin and named next of kin with all documents of proof. I wish as the heir apparent to claim and instruct that the above-mentioned amount be transferred into my nominated account as show above.

Please accept this late application as it was due to family logistic problems consequent upon his funeral rights, I hope you will understand and expedite action. Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Yours sincerely,

Your Full names.....................
Your contact address................
Telephone numbers...................
Fax numbers.........................
Private Email address...............

1:52 PM

 
Blogger Todd Lemieux said...

Mr. Sanchez,

That is grosser than a burrito. I don't want any of your specimens, thank you very much. And to be honest, I don't believe that you should pander in such things.

I have difficulty with the application in the following ways:

1. It is not in English AND Spanish. And you call yourself a Sanchez.
2. The English is so poor, that it can only pass for a legal document in... Togo. Which answers my question so please ignore this point.
3. It asks for my "names" and as anyone knows, I have more than fifteen legal names which cannot be added onto any document provided.

I would ask that you do the following so that I can fill out this sham of an application and be taken advantage of by you:

1. Attach it to the email as a Word document. That is a computer program that we use here in the United States. You might also want to explore the idea of saving it as a PDF file. Or as I like to refer to it: Preferred Death File.
2. Send me your picture ID so I know that I cannot trust you. Especially if it is a picture of you in a Taco Bell uniform.
3. Do an impression of Marilyn Monroe singing to JFK.
4. Start a Fantasy Baseball league and draft Andres Galarraga in the first round.

Thank your for your cooperation,

Todd Lemieux

1:59 PM

 

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